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A forum for those artists who would like a more critical critique of their work, apposed to a "that's cool" and a smiley.

A Guide to Positive Critiques (adapted from PoetryPlease)

• Does not solely concentrate on a pieces weak points, but tempers constructive criticism with acknowledgment of the good features.
• Is not made up of comments like “well done” or emoticons, as they do not explain why the piece is well done. Comments and emoticons belong in the introduction and summary only.
• A knowledge of technical artistist terms is desirable, but not necessary, to be able to provide constructive criticism.
• Try to keep your thoughts focused on the piece and how it affects you as the viewer.
• Explain why you liked or disliked the piece; don’t just state the emotion it triggered.
• Describe which elements are good, and how they enhance the piece.
• Describe which elements of the piece need improving and politely offer alternatives that can improve the work.
• Please include an honest, but polite, summary in your critique.

Please remember that even if you do not like a custom, or it has numerous faults, keep your comments polite and positive. Always offer alternatives. To merely tear something down and not offer a better alternative is merely destruction.

By concentrating on the piece, and not the artist, we will help each other improve. By concentrating on form rather than content we not only help other artists, but ourselves as well, by learning where our own weaknesses may lie.



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 Post subject: Custom Dunny - The Fly Fisherman, Barnaby Jones
New postPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 8:02 pm 
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Ok lets give this a whirl. This is my latest piece called the Fly Fisherman, Barnaby Jones. He is from the planet Daumier and is inter-galatically renown in the fly fishing community. His satellite radio show is carried across 9,000 galaxies. In this piece it captures the event that lead to his stardom, the triumphant come from behind catch he made during the 9 Planet Fly Fishing Challenge in 5039 (their calendar is different, 2002 our calendar).

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In this piece I used sculpty and acrylics on both Barnaby and the fish. The rod was a mod from the Saner holiday dunny and some loose Star Wars toys I had from making Christmas ornaments. The dunny was a Shelterbank from the 2010 series and the fish was an original sculpt done by me. On the fish I wanted a rough look to the sculpt and a mucky finish to make him look more lagoonie. For Barnaby I just wanted orange head on an normal looking body.

I haven't finalized anything on him so all criticism is welcome.

Here are some additional photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/j0nwalsh/sets/72157625632859069/

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 Post subject: Re: Custom Dunny - The Fly Fisherman, Barnaby Jones
New postPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2010 4:03 am
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I talked with you a bit on this guy, and I think my paint comments still apply--that it could be a bit smoother laying down, and the edges would be easier to paint more cleanly (particularly talking about the eyes, eyebrows and stache) if it were sanded more. I'd go to at least a 600, maybe 800 if you're feeling crazy. Also feel like some shadows and highlights are missing, that you could make him pop a little more by using more than just a solid color for each area. That's a judgement call there, but especially with that orange skin, the solid color feels a little overpowering.

I hadn't gotten the backstory on the character before, and this is a bit of an odd criticism, but here goes:
Based on the backstory, I don't think he's weird enough. I originally thought you were just making an unusual color choice for the skin of a "human" character, to kind of move it one step away from reality. This is reinforced by the fact that his clothes are traditional-looking flyfishing gear like from an Orvis catalog. If he's to be an intergalactic flyfisherman, I want him to be INTERGALACTIC in all caps. I want extra eyes on his Dunny ears or scales or fins sticking out of the sides of his face. I want an alien symbol on his hat or some non-traditional oddity to his outfit, some weird almost military looking contraption strapped across his chest. I want the fish to be some bizarre mutant fish or even not a fish at all but some whacked-out creature that looks like it would have been swimming around in "Avatar". I think it's a lot more interesting if you can still make the guy obviously flyfishing, but clearly an alien who is flyfishing for some crazy creature that hardly qualifies as a fish.

The concept is great, because the addition of the fish is in fact an extra piece of articulation, not just an accessory, and adds a lot of different possibilities as far as posing goes. Come to think of it, I think I'd cut off the Dunny's legs, and put him up to his waist in water as well, put him in the water with the fish, a la flyfishing. I hadn't realized it before but he's standing on the bank right now.

I love the absurd, and to take a traditional country gentleman sport like flyfishing and recast it in the far reaches of space is incredibly appealing to me. I just think you need to push it farther. An old design prof of mine used to tell us to push the idea "way out there where the buses don't run"... and then take one step back. I like that advice here. Push the idea to the point of absolute ridiculousness, then reign it back in a little bit. Keep it recognizably as the act of flyfishing, but make the context so bizarre that the backstory in words isn't even necessary, ie. don't tell us who he is, show us who he is.


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